Sunday, October 31, 2010
There once was a man from nantuckit, he sat around all day. Waiting for people to bring him food. On the 7th day no one brought him any. This made him very sad. He went looking for food, but because he never got it for himself before, he didn't know where they kept the food. He went looking for about 3 hours. He eventually got to Figgleblarp manor, like all hungry stupid people do. Figgleblarp manor is a scary place. It's filled with about 800 Justin Bieber robots, and has the Disney channel on full volume 24/7. The man from nantukit was lured to the figgleblarps place because he was a homosexual and liked the Disney channel. He planned to do non-specific things to all those robots. As he got to the front gate, there was a little talk box thing. You know, like at McDonalds. He pushed the button and said "let me in! I like the Disney channel! Also I'm homosex." after a few seconds of waiting for a reply, he heard this, "...son, I am disappoint." this made the man from nantukit very sad, he didnt like being rejected. So he went to the middle of town and an heroed. It spattered every where. All over the Starbucks, even into a little girls mouth. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is, if you are gay and like the Disney channel, don't an hero in public to somewhere privit and bad ass so when the cops find your body, they says things like "woah he must be awesome" and " dada, I wanna be like him when I grow up!"
Friday, October 29, 2010
Once apon a time, the was a gold fish. But this was no ordinary gold fish, this was a SILVER fish. He was made fun of constantly for not being gold. At least there was this other gold fish who was BRONZE. The gold and silver fish could pick on him together. This is the story of a very rich, but very unhappy business man. We are not going to tell you his real name, as he wished to stay anonomis. Let's call him 'Jerry'. One day Jerry was walking to work because he did not have enough money to own a car or get a cab. To his luck, all the public transpiration drivers where on strike. He was 40 minutes late to work. That didn't matter to Jerry very much because Jerry hated his job. He was the CEO of Bliggs Inc. (if you don't know what that is, it's okay, it's a jersey thing). Anyway, Jerry was upset because he did not want to pay all the taxes and paychecks. He wanted to keep all the money. But if he did that then he would have on one working for him and then he would stop making money. Jerry did not like the sound of that. Neither did his workers. They wanted to keep thier jobs. At approxametly 3:14 Jerry walked outside into south Columbus downtown and shot and killed about 49 people. The 50th got away with a case of rapidly growing brain cancer. He died instantly, the next year. In conclusion, don't ever trust those dirty bronze fish, they will get you killed.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
There once was a boy. He was a stupid boy. So very, very stupid. One day he was walking his pet poodle around the block. The poodle was not very nice. Not very nice at all. The boy thought it would be a good idea to let the poodle off the leash. Later the boy would realize, thats not such a good idea. The poodle, being as evil as it is, ran into the streets of downtown. It was about 4:30 on a saturday so it was very busy with the Saturday Market and all. The bad poodle thought it would be an amazing idea to eat as much elephant ears as possible in 10 minutes before the boy caught up with him. What the poodle did not realize is that he was allergic to cinnamon. The poodles throat was slowly closing. He didn't have much time. Just then, a man opened his shop door. Everybody walk the dinosaur.